CONFESSION: I get jealous of other women.
Trust me, I know. I’m a self-described “Female Empoweress” and it’s not super becoming. But the fact of the matter is that jealousy (along with insecurity, envy, fear, doubt, and hurt) is a natural human emotion. We all feel jealousy from time-to-time; it’s part of the human experience.
We may not be able to eliminate jealousy from our emotional experience, but we can decide what to do with it. Basically, we have two options:
- Be a hater.
- Look inward.
If you’re leaning toward option one, plz refer to my post on sisterhood and report back to me after.
Just because you have the (very human) emotional experience of jealousy, doesn’t mean you need to engage in jealous behavior (such as hating, gossiping, shit-talking, rumor-spreading, trolling, stalking, sabotaging, self-pitying, self-sabotaging, & other various ways of throwing a jealous tantrum).
Just because you have the (very human) emotional experience of jealousy, doesn’t mean you need to engage in jealous behavior
There’s a second option. Thank Goddess.
I’m going to teach you how to use jealousy to your advantage.
The next time you feel a twinge of jealousy, I want you to look inward.
Pull yourself aside and sit with your jealousy for a sec. Bask in it. Soak it up. Really look at it. Who are you jealous of? What are you jealous of? And most importantly… Why are you jealous?
Why are you jealous?
She makes you jealous because she has something that you yourself long for, but haven’t made happen yet.
She’s living a life that you, in one way or another, aspire to live.
Patriarchal society has taught us that there’s not enough to go around. That if she has it, we can’t. But that’s a lie. This is not a pie. And even if it was, there’s more than enough pie to go around.
Any pain you experience from your jealousy is about you. You may feel pain because you’re mad at yourself for not putting in enough effort. For not stepping into the power that’s lying dormant inside of you. Or you realize you’ve been avoiding making a painful decision. It’s a pain that you feel because you realize that the only one stopping you is yourself. It certainly isn’t her.
So if your jealousy triggers negative feelings towards her, check yourself. Because if she can do it, so can you. So if anything, you should be getting really fucking excited. Celebrate her! Be grateful to her for lighting the way! Use her as your inspiration, your motivation, your drive, your fuel.
Jealousy can be your greatest teacher
Jealousy teaches us what really matters to us. It shines a glaring spotlight on the things that we deeply desire, but haven’t yet made enough of a priority. Jealousy is our queue to go make our own unique version of that shit happen for ourselves. Take that jealous emotion and turn it into productive action.
When we see that she can do it, we realize that we can too. We don’t have any excuse not to. We just need to stop getting in our own way.
I know, it sucks getting called out.
You have the power to make it happen. The power is already inside of you. Jealousy is just a queue, a clue, a signal from the universe that it’s time to step into your power. If you’re ready to stop watching everyone else have the life you want and actually go get it yourself, I’m here to help you.