Category Archives: Bliss

This is 29: Six Things I Learned In the Past 365 Days

Tomorrow’s my 29th birthday, so I reread the post I wrote a year ago when I turned 28 entitled “The Wisdom of your Late 20s.” Lol. Little 28yo wise ass me had NO IDEA how much I would learn and grow and change in a year. If I could sum up this year in one…

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    When It Comes To Live Experience, Has Instagram Become The Event Itself?

    So I went to the Veuve Clicquot Polo Classic this weekend and by far THE MOST INTERESTING thing about it to me was that it was 90% about Instagram (and like 2% about polo). Everything (I mean EVERYTHING) was Instagrammable. The Veuve champagne carrying cases, the chic orange bags, the displays and Instagram stations that…

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      Grief, Loss, & Making Painful Decisions

      “Welcome to an exciting life. That’s what you chose, my dear.” This is what my therapist said to me, with a knowing grin, as I sat cross-legged on the couch and sobbed uncontrollably in her office last week. I hadn’t seen her in three weeks. (She was out of town, in a camper van, traveling…

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      • cassandraAugust 15, 2018 - 2:11 pm

        annaaaaa!!!!!!! this post is amazing as always. thanks for putting it all out there for us. it helps more than you will ever knowReplyCancel

      • CailinAugust 15, 2018 - 4:13 pm

        This made me cry and laugh at the exact same time. Your Rose metaphor is spot on (“someone keeps pouring me refills”…dead…)I’m in the same place as you right now, grieving for my best friend and fiance and the life we had planned together but knowing that we could not move forward anymore pretending that everything was okay or going to be okay. I’m facing the same “wow, I’m so okay, this isn’t as hard as I thought it would be” and then then next hour I’m crying so hard in the bathroom at work that I feel like I can’t breathe. I want to fast forward through the pain and get to my glass having room for my new 2019 Vintage Rose…
        Love and light to you, always. ReplyCancel

      • KayliAugust 15, 2018 - 4:23 pm

        You’re a badass and this unbelievably hard decision you made will open up opportunities and chances you’d never have experienced. 
        Btw I think 2019 should be travel the world only condition is that I get to go ha!ReplyCancel

      • EllaAugust 16, 2018 - 3:27 pm

        Oh, lady, thank you so much for writing and sharing your truth. I am currently in the process of separating from my partner. We will have been together 9 years and I will be entering my 30s as a single woman. This sentence has scared the hell out of me for the past few months of navigating this difficult situation. 30 and single. 30 and alone? While everyone else within my circle is starting to get married, buy a house, and have kids; here I am, leaving mine. Your blog and Instagram are instrumental sources in my life right now. I felt so alone in the decision I made for myself because to others, it seems absolutely insane. And you know what? I am perfectly okay with that because after the decision was made, I felt lighter. If I have learned anything from this experience, it is to trust my intuition. I made a painful decision that will take time to process but I feel reinvigorated about life. I feel freer and I am so thrilled about whatever happens next.

        You are a badass babe, cultivating a community for other badass babes, and I raise my glass of Rosé to you and everyone else out their relentlessly discovering and pursuing their truest selves. xx,Ella ReplyCancel

      • AlexaAugust 17, 2018 - 10:40 pm

        Anna, thanks for this. This was one of the first days on which I  clicked a hyperlink to one of your articles and actually got to that tab with the article within a day! 
        It just so happens to be my dad’s birthday. He’s been gone for 12 years now – the 12 years in which I entered high school, went to college, graduated, started my first job, etc. I understand what you mean about difficulty during transition periods, and I think a lot of what you’ve written can be extrapolated to make sense in dealing with loss of many kinds. 
        I don’t have anything profound to say right now, as it’s getting late in CST and I have an early morning! I do want to say thank you though – many of us who read your blog and follow your other social media probably think it way more than we express it. 
        Also, I don’t think you can necessarily go wrong with your decision about how to fill up the cup (podcasts, yoga, travel, etc). I will say I took my yoga training with about 50 other women and a few men. It was the best money I’ve ever spent and one of the greatest experiences. I noticed trainees who had recently (2 years prior or less) undergone major losses were extremely vulnerable while studying. Yoga certainly opens then body and mind to realize deep seated emotions. Some of these yogis became very ‘emotional’ for lack of a better word. I imagine this process during a yoga training might help someone and hurt someone else, depending on each person’s healing process. To summarize, my recommendation about the yoga training is to hold off for at least a few months before potentially being put in a very vulnerable space. (Unless your comfortable with that!) In addition, try to spend some time with the teachers in the program before signing up, if possible. You’ll be with them for a while! ReplyCancel

        • Eve IravaniAugust 18, 2018 - 2:17 am

          Dear Anna I am sorry you have been through the wars and thank you for sharing you woes in such an honest and endearing way.  You have probably helped more people than you know.  After what you’ve been through (loved the Rose analogy BTW) and the resolute manner you made your decision this might be hard to hear but you are resilient and from what I see you know your own mind so far be it from someone unknown to you to interfere .. all this is is a perspective from an older member of your band of girls.  I have been married for 32 years – it’s one of those long haul deals and I don’t want to come across as smug because it’s not all been plain sailing.  I am incredibly thankful though to have weathered our storms together and we’ve had multiple challenges of being biz partners and then me getting sick so the poor guy has fulfilled his part of those wedding vows believe me! What I wanted to say was that 2 nights before the wedding I was about to call it all off.  There was all kinds of family shit happening with my newly married dad wanting to ring my stepmother (who I had not yet met) and my mom being in pieces and then the pressures of pandering to inlaws etc… and that’s BEFORE factoring in the terror of the actual wedding day.  I hated my dress and was only wearing it because it was a gift from my mom and all she could afford at the time.  My dad was supposed to contribute to the wedding but that was looking increasingly doubtful so I was entering my new family in hock to them which actually felt.. well, humiliating.  Remember, this was back in 1986 when female empowerment was not what we know today!  I had just completed my Economics degree, had dreams of becoming an investment banker and what was I doing at the tender age of 23?  Getting hitched that’s what.  Nailing my colours to someone else’s mast before I even knew what it was all about.  Why did I go through with not one but 2 ceremonies in the end? (We are both mixed race)   Because through all the tears and doubts I knew one thing for sure.  I absolutely loved this guy.  He was the one who encouraged me to go back to university and although it meant a 3 year separation, he bloody well waited!  He planned the whole wedding and I would do my part in the holidays when I flew back to England from Colorado. Forget all that though… it was when I told him I was bottling out and he gave me the tightest hug.  That’s when I knew I wanted to always have those arms around me and I didn’t walk away.  All I am saying is that you have had so much crammed into your rose glass including building up a business that it’s no wonder you needed to retreat.  Ask yourself an honest question: was it the pressure of the wedding itself weighing on you or did you call it off because you found you were actually not in love with T? Just saying.  In the pictures you posted of the two of you you seemed so happy.  I hope after the dust has settled at least you can salvage the friendship – but only you know if that’s possible and then time does its whole thing as well I know you can fill your time with work, friends, fam, yoga, going out etc. There are lots of people you can do something with but as they say there are not many you can do nothing with”.  In this day an age a relationship can be anything.  You don’t HAVE to be married for F’s sake! Maybe the whole wedding thing just came to soon at the wrong time.  Only fools give advice and this is NOT that.  It’s just another perspective.  Keep doing what you’re doing and making us boss ladies happy with your exhuberant and fun posts which also have so many practical tips too.  I enjoy your newsletter every Saturday (I live in England). Have a good weekend! Eve xReplyCancel

          • AnnaAugust 29, 2018 - 8:35 am

            Hi Eve, thank you so much for bringing your experience and perspective to this conversation!! What a wonderful note. It’s amazing how resilient we really are, isn’t it?

            The reason it took me so long to recognize that getting married to T wasn’t the right fit for me was actually because I had so many other things going on at once. I blamed my anxiety on everything else (graduating from business school, moving to LA, launching a company, planning a wedding etc.) instead of facing the truth that maybe this relationship/marriage wasn’t the right one for me. It was such a hard truth to face and I hoped it would be ANYTHING but that. The anxiety didn’t come two nights before (as is common with “wedding jitters), it was nearly a year of mental turmoil. Once I acknowledged my truth, I’ve been much happier (even if I’ve also been devastated at the same time). Yes, we were in love, we could “do nothing” together, he was my best friend, and we were happy. But that doesn’t mean it was the relationship that would make me happy forever.

            We do look happy in our pictures though, don’t we? We were. But I also had deep-seated doubts that I didn’t want to face. If anything, that demonstrates how much can really be going on behind the scenes when we look at pictures on social media.

            I’m so happy you found such an amazing man to share your life with. I can’t wait to find mine! xx Anna

      • Anna KateOctober 10, 2018 - 9:16 am

        Anna, this morning while cramming for an assignment in grad school, I took a distraction break and Googled “what calling off my wedding was like.” Because that is what I did a little over two months ago now. And I found you. I was looking for someone who had experienced the same gut-wrenching guilt and shame and sadness as me. I expected I’d probably find other people who had called off weddings, but what I didn’t expect to find was someone who’s story of calling off their wedding was so exactly like mine. Our reasons (a deep sense that we weren’t as compatible as I had thought), how many months until the date (2!), the post-decision conversations (“Did he cheat on you?” “But you looked so happy together!” “Remember no matter who you marry he won’t be perfect!” NO SHIT Rhonda (made up name, I find inventing fake names in fake arguments satisfies my internal turmoil sometimes hahah), wondering if your stress/anxiety was due to school/work stress and not major doubts about the relationship, and even your trait of being totally transparent and unable to fake it (like, I literally don’t get how some people lie? Sometimes I’m jealous of people who can temporarily divorce themselves from their true feelings; it would come in handy sometimes). I mean all of it. I have been living your life, just delayed by 2 months. (My wedding date was September 29.) My biggest struggle was not having a “good enough” reason. After traveling around the world A MILLION FREAKING TIMES in my head trying to solve it for myself and also satisfy everyone’s need to understand, I’ve come to the conclusion that you don’t owe freaking ANYBODY an explanation when you end a relationship. Mostly because it’s hard enough to explain it to yourself. If that’s the case, good luck getting anyone else to understand. It will only exhaust you and confuse you further. All I know was that I did NOT feel the way that I needed to feel to marry him. Period. I loved him, like crazy. He had invested so much in me. He had encouraged me, made me laugh, showed me love and grace, been my friend and confidante, so many good things. And yet, I couldn’t ignore this deep-seated feeling that I didn’t want to be with him forever. I also had the complication that our entire relationship was long-distance, so it was doubly difficult to see for myself that I really didn’t want to marry him. So very, very much shame wrapped up in that. It’s been brutal working through that. I have never struggled with anxiety or thoughts of self-harm but they hit me like a freight train through this. Thankfully I have a ridiculous support system and close friends, so I’ve coped well, but it’s been messy. My ex-fiance did not respond extremely well and hurting him was by far the worst part. There is something about hurting someone you love that just mutilates your soul. I don’t know how long it will take to heal from the pain of causing him pain. But I do have those moments like you said when you realize, “Holy shit, I went against convention, told hundreds of people who might judge me that I had changed my mind about arguably the most important decision of my life, caused temporary pain for myself, my fiance, and many others because I knew deep down that despite the pain it was the best decision for literally every person involved.” DAMN. Can we get a standing ovation? That is ridiculous. I’ve never been so grieved and distraught and hurt and lonely and scared, but I did the hard, right thing, for everyone. Thank you for bravely launching your story out there so that people like me could find it and feel a little more normal, a little more brave, a little more okay. We’ve planted seeds of sorrow, and soon we will reap joy.ReplyCancel

      What Baring My Soul To Thousands Of Strangers Taught Me About Asking For Help

      Exactly one month ago today, after calling off my wedding, I did the second scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life. In my weakest, darkest, most vulnerable moment, I bared my soul to thousands of strangers. Why did I do it? I did it because paralyzing anxiety about my wedding kept me up night after…

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      • TereseAugust 14, 2018 - 11:20 am

        Wow. There are a couple things I want to tell you:
        1. I think you know this, but you should hear it a million times. YOU ARE SO STRONG. I wish I had 10% of your strength! You’re inspiring me.
        2. I love your platform because of your consistent realness and authenticity. It’s so rare in our world. Thank you. I hope other social media people read the end of this (the call to action to do more with social media) and take note.ReplyCancel

      I called off my wedding. No, I’m not ok. But I will be.

      This post is the most difficult I’ve written. I’ve been hesitant to write because while I share my life with all of you, I don’t share other people’s. After many sleepless nights, I decided to tell my story because if I could have read something like this, I wouldn’t have felt so alone. My hope…

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      • AlexJune 25, 2018 - 12:38 pm

        Proud of you <3ReplyCancel

      • JenniferJune 25, 2018 - 12:59 pm

        I’m over here giving you a standing ovation. What you did is so damn courageous! You are owning your truth & following your gut. That is amazing! I was engaged for 5 years to someone who was not person and we both knew it. I had left 2-3 times during the course of our relationship (as if that wasn’t enough of an indicator). I was way too caught up thinking this was as good as it gets. Two young, attractive successful people with all their shit together. Seemed like a match made in heaven. Yeahhh, no. We were married for a yearish and then  I left. And I didn’t leave gracefully or respectfully like you did, I threw a granade on my way out the door in hopes that it would damage the relationship so bad I could never go back, nor would he ever want me back. Not my finest moment, but it set me free. I got married yesterday to someone who is far less refined, neat, and by social standards “successful.” He makes me feel like magic and home all at once. Our connection is nothing like I’ve ever experienced. He sets my soul on fire!!! I wasted a lot of time and youth on chasing someone who wasn’t meant for me . Once I started following my gut, the universe blessed and continues to bless me beyond measure. Go on, sister love! This is hard and will get worse before it gets better. Rest assured this is the beginning of something special… whatever that is. ReplyCancel

        • MaryJuly 12, 2018 - 10:29 pm

          Thank you for this. On the same boat as she is.ReplyCancel

      • Gwen DittmarJune 25, 2018 - 1:48 pm

        Anna, as I shared in my comment to your post on Instagram, I commend you. It takes a lot of courage, heart and spirit to pay attention to your intuition and not only listen, but act on it. I called off a wedding 16 years ago and it was one of the five top hardest choices I’ve ever made but simultaneously I’ve found when we do, spirit opens so much in that spaciousness after we’ve grieved. I am sending you so much love and light. With love, Gwen ReplyCancel

      • EmmaJune 25, 2018 - 2:22 pm

        I’m so very incredibly proud of you for following your personal truth. I know it’s so scary and hard. Know that I’m out here proud of you and rootin for you! XoReplyCancel

      • Ricki FrankelJune 25, 2018 - 3:58 pm

        Proud of you! I’m here if you need me. ReplyCancel

      • Frances AdvinculaJune 25, 2018 - 5:39 pm

        We can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through. Thank you for sharing your story, and please know your community is here for you.ReplyCancel

      • DaisyJune 25, 2018 - 5:40 pm

        I can’t imagine what you’ve been walking through. Thanks for opening up about it. May hope and joy return little by little, and peace be in your heart now even in sorrow. ReplyCancel

      • SavannahJune 25, 2018 - 7:48 pm

        Crying my eyes out for your heartbreak while also marveling at your strength. Keep your chin up. One day, one hour, one minute at a time. ReplyCancel

      • AbigailJune 26, 2018 - 5:27 am

        I’ve been engaged twice and both times I called it off for the same reasons! And I’m SO glad I did because I wouldn’t be with the amazing partner that I am now. And maybe we’ll get married some day, and maybe not, but I’m happy in this moment and glad I trusted my instincts. Take care of yourself and lean on your support system until you’re back to your old self! XxReplyCancel

      • kelsyJune 26, 2018 - 2:10 pm

        i commend you for sharing this with the world and continue to be amazed by your commitment to authenticity and being true to yourself. big hugs from seattle anna!ReplyCancel

      • JohannaJune 26, 2018 - 4:23 pm

        I’ve sent this to every one of my family members and friends because it’s as if I wrote this myself. I called off my wedding in May because of everything you just said. Thank you for making me feel less alone. ReplyCancel

      • SaraJune 27, 2018 - 8:58 am

        I. am. SO PROUD of you! I finally grew the ovaries to ask for a divorce and I wish I had the courage to do what you’ve done now before making it difficult to separate. I definitely had serious doubts pre marriage but like you said I really couldn’t express that to anyone. The decision is right for both of us, even though I was forced to be the one to say it out loud. So know that you aren’t alone ever. I’m glad I made the decision before we had kids. And I 100% feel you on the “you’re really going to start again at your age? What’re you going to do about kids?”  I’m 32 and honestly none of your business! Anyways mad love and all the support in the world. It’ll  suck for awhile but you got thisReplyCancel

      • JaclynJune 28, 2018 - 1:15 pm

        I’m not sure how I stumbled across this post, but oh how I wish there had been something written like this when I was going through this exact thing 5 years ago. I too, called off my wedding, with 4 months to go. No one understood. The breaking of relationships, family and friends, is so real. I am sending you all of the good vibes. You are so courageous. You will feel whole again. Piece by piece. It takes so much time and work on yourself, but it truly was the best decision I ever made for myself and him. Hang in there. Sending love from Georgia. 

        XoJaclyn ReplyCancel

      • KaraJune 28, 2018 - 8:31 pm

        Wow. I am so proud of you. I read this with envy. I read this with pride. I read this knowing that anxiety and fear you talk about. I wish I had chosen to not be married today. It is infinitely harder to decide to leave now because of the incompatibility we obviously have at just under 2 years of marriage. I wish I had been slower in the process and listened to those voices. Maybe I didn’t because I’m now 40 and kids are grown and on second marriage. But I didn’t, I assumed the fairy-tsle feeling would continue. But it didn’t. Now that the events are over and we are left married in our house,  I have not chosen the right person. I love him, he’s a good guy and he loves me dearly. But it wasn’t the right choice for my lifetime. So good job girl! Way to listen to your soul.ReplyCancel

        • KellyJune 29, 2018 - 3:54 pm

          Reading this is breaking my heart. I was in love with an engaged man. We “dated” for over a year and he was engaged the whole time. He ended our relationship and chose to marry the other woman although he told me he didn’t love her and truly was marrying her for all the wrong reasons. I know he’s not happy and I’m devastated. I love him so much and know I would have made him so happy. Good for you. I hope wherever your heart leads you, you are happy! XoxoReplyCancel

      • AmandaJune 29, 2018 - 12:16 pm

        The only words that come to mind are “thank you”. I am in that exact position at the moment and called off my wedding two months ago for the same reasons you did. No, no one understands. Everyone looks for “the reason” as to why it’s over. The fact that there was doubt and it just didn’t feel “right” is not and will never be enough of an explanation for some. But remember that the only explanation you need is the one you give yourself. I’m right there with you. Literally. Everyday is a struggle, but make time to remind yourself of what you’re proud of yourself for everyday. Even the small steps and progress. You are not alone and I’m comforted in knowing that there are people just like me and you that are going through this at the same time. Yoga and meditation have really helped me find peace with my decision. I was never really interested in it, but have found so much solace in it. Maybe give it a try. Keep moving forward. 

        AmandaReplyCancel

      • AngelaJuly 1, 2018 - 12:43 am

        Aloha beautiful… I am so sorry that you are going through this but so proud of you for really listening to your gut & paying attention to your inner self … 

        I have recently gone through a very traumatic break up where I thought I was going up my marry this person & 6 months in things got really tough so I decided to make a change & move out I have had the worst anxiety, have cried for hours on the floor , felt so alone . Oh & then to find out he just bought a condo & got his dream job & promotion ( so very happy for him because he deserves it ) but deep down inside I love him & am crushed.. I am learning a whole new way about living life & have doubted my every move & decision.. I have no idea if I made the right one but I have to accept it. I have friends that say focus on something else & they make it sound so easy ( it has been the opposite) i have been doing hundreds of meditation, affirmations. It’s hard when you love someone & when you love from your heart .. I have contacted dr to help stabilize my emotions & reaching out to support groups … I know that there is someone out there for me … Sending you so much energy … With love & light ReplyCancel

      • ChastityJuly 1, 2018 - 1:19 pm

        This is an incredible read. Thank you for being so transparent because I could relate to several points and key feelings.  I know the pain you are talking about and yes,it does indeed feel like death but the strong woman to emerge from this will be UNSTOPPABLE. You saved your soul and by sharing your truth … you saved other women and maybe even a few men out there. Continue to walk boldly into your destiny beautiful one.  

        ChastityReplyCancel

      • DianeJuly 2, 2018 - 1:39 pm

         I wish I had the courage to walk away from my engagement before I got married. I knew it was a bad idea…  Kepp giving yourself grace.ReplyCancel

      • ShannonJuly 2, 2018 - 6:25 pm

        I wish that I had the ovaries to do what you did! After countless doubts and sleepless nights during my engagement, and even the day i walked down the aisle, I told myself it would go away and things would get better. But after 1.5 years of marriage, I woke up one night and said, “I can’t do this anymore.” It took me even longer to share this with my husband and family, because of all the questions you raised. But you’re right, it’s NEVER too late to start over and find your happy. Brava to you for listening to your gut. XoReplyCancel

      • ColetteJuly 13, 2018 - 12:57 pm

        omg…I just discovered your Instagram a few weeks ago–right before you called it off. I’m in a long term relationship that I’m unsure about. We’ve been living together, and just had our 3 year anniversary. I’ve been having doubts about if I’m ready to get engaged or not for about 6 months now. I keep waiting to feel decidedly one way or the other– I keep waiting to feel SURE that I want to get engaged or SURE that I want to break up. There is nothing wrong with our relationship, per se. I love him. He has never cheated on me. He would never cheat on me or hurt me. Yet…something doesn’t feel right. I don’t feel the 0% anxiety, 100% easiness that I hear you feel when you meet the one. Reading this has made me feel so much less alone. All of the questions you are getting, all of your self-doubt…wow. I feel like a soul sister. Thank you for sharing this. I’m not sure if I’m ready to walk away, but reading this made me cry. Thank you.ReplyCancel

      • Patricia TrebnickAugust 10, 2018 - 11:06 am

        I am so very very very proud of you that you honored and faced your feelings. This is the hardest things to do when you are fast approaching your wedding day. Congrats dear one for being bold and beautiful.  Your story will help so many more. You did it! ReplyCancel

      • Melissa SurianoAugust 30, 2018 - 5:30 pm

        I called mine off 3 weeks ago. Do I love him? Absolutely. But he was changing……alcoholism. As much as I love him, I don’t love “drunk” him, and I really don’t love drunk abusive temper him. He would always promise he would slow down his drinking, and he would for a while and things would be amazing. Then, he’d fall off the wagon and the cycle would start all over again, each time a little worse than the last. Finally, he assaulted me physically. Making the decision to call the police this time meant there would never be any turning back. He is now in jail, the wedding is off, and while I hurt so very deeply, I know this was the best decision. 
        No matter how we come to this decision, the process is painful. I’m proud of you for standing up for what you truly desire, and I’m proud of me for making the decision to not settle for abuse. Best wishes to you!ReplyCancel

      • SDAugust 31, 2018 - 11:04 am

        I wish you all the strength. I totally believe in love and compatibility being two different yet equally important things. I had broken up with an amazing guy cause of these niggling doubts. Yes, I still respect him but I don’t regret it ever.People don’t understand that cheating is not the only reason why someone breaks up.
        Love and positivity to you.
        XOXOReplyCancel

      • LisaOctober 17, 2018 - 7:51 am

        So.. you broke your heart and someone else’s for NO valid reason? Has it ever occured to you that maybe you had some things to work on yourself, or that you were realising that getting married meant growing up, and this is what was scaring you? I had the same things. The same unrationnal doubts. It was killing me. But instead of throwing it all away like you did, I went into therapy and discovered that this had nothing to do with the relationship. Just me, scared, insecure, lost, and completely not ready to see myself as an adult. “Incompatibiliy”? What is this? You said you loved him, and shared the same life goals and values? What else can compatibility be ? Of course, like all the girls writing similar article, in a few years you will say that “oh look ok I had no valid reasons to break up but now I found someone I have zero unrationnal doubts about. So that must mean I was right to ruin everything with the first guy”. Or maybe you just grew up in the mean time. And you moved on. Without even addressing what really caused you so much anxiety with the first guy. My advice to all ladies reading this and ready to break everything up for no reasons : go to therapy. Talk to someone. Learn a bit more about yourself and what is scaring you. If you love someone, they love you, you share the same goals/values, you respect and admire each other, do NOT throw that away. Work on yourself. Listen to the fears voices, to expose their lies, and not lose the best thing that ever happened to you.ReplyCancel

      • T. TimeDecember 26, 2018 - 10:51 am

        I, recently, had the ovaries to call my wedding off. It has been rough. Watching the person I love cry hurts tremendously. At times I feel like I don’t know how I am going to get through this. However, there are moments of happiness, where I just laugh to myself or feel just a little sense of pride in my decision. Thank you so much for writing this article. It has been a major help. I felt like I was the only person in the world that would throw away 3 years and a person willing to love me forever, simply because I recognized that we were what each other needed for a time. I could have decided to stay after that time and deal with my doubts or call things off in respect and love for my best friend and myself. ReplyCancel

      • AnnaJanuary 21, 2019 - 12:34 pm

        you are so brave. I have been having serious doubts, things are not good between me and my significant other. He knows it too and he grows tired of it but he is more scared of calling this off than I am. I know he is, he does not let me leave when I just want to catch a break, when I want my space to breathe and think straight on what is best for me. I am not excited about wedidng planning, my mother in law does not talk to me for the mere reason that I exist and took his son away. The list goes on and on, someone please tell me how to deal with thisReplyCancel

      • AlichiaJanuary 25, 2019 - 10:35 am

        Good for you. As someone who let the fear win, I’m envious. I ignored all the warning signs and my own feelings and went through with it. It last three years. I even had some of those same feelings of leaving the house we had bought and our life, but I knew it was for the best. And now, 10 years later I’m engaged to the man I know I’m meant to be with and couldn’t be happier. You got this. Keep trusting yourself.ReplyCancel

      • AlyssaFebruary 17, 2019 - 8:26 pm

        Thank you for speaking out about this. My fiancee and I called off our wedding about a year and a half ago. Our whole break up was us holding eachother, crying and saying we love each other. It just got to a point where love wasn’t enough. We got along and stayed in touch regularly up until a few months ago when I started seeing someone else, which I understand. I still wish him the best and still tell everyone I had a great 6 years with my ex. I can still say, had we gone through with the wedding, I would have had a good life with him, just not where I was supposed to be.
        It really has been such a comfort, in a odd way, finding people who went through this experience.ReplyCancel

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