Exactly 10 years ago, when I was 18, I made the life-changing decision to get a breast reduction. I did it because I hated my colossal-sized breasts. The physical pain in my back and shoulders was bad, but the emotional pain was unrivaled. People would stare (sometimes touch) and my skin would crawl. Gossip flew and wild rumors spread because a teenager with double Fs must be a slut. First I tried hiding my boobs under three sports bras and a sweatshirt (in California heat), and eventually, I disguised them with weight gain instead. I was uncomfortable and disgusted by my own body, so I decided to take control and make a change.
I grew up hating my boobs, and my breast reduction taught me to love them again. In fact, it taught me to love my entire body inside and out and treat it better than ever before. Year by year I lost more and more weight, got in better and better shape, and reached higher and higher levels of confidence. For the first time ever, I loved my body. Never in a million years did I think that would be possible for me. (You can read my full breast reduction story here.)
If you told my 18-year-old self that one day I would get breast implants, I would have said you were certifiably insane. I know supposedly women are supposed to get their boob jobs redone every 10 years but I never wanted big boobs to begin with… that was the whole point.
So, why am I getting a boob job?
I want boobs. Point blank PERIOD. That’s all that should matter. Feel free to stop reading now.
But you know me, I have a lot more to say about it :). So if you’re interested, keep reading.
I’ve worked really hard for my body. I’ve lost weight, gotten in shape, and with that comes loose skin. Combine that with the inevitable effects of age and gravity, and my boobs are practically two sacks of skin (picture two deflated balloons). So I’m getting little implants to fill out the deflated balloon latex.
I’m not getting a boob job because I hate myself or hate my body. I’m doing it because I LOVE my body. I’ve worked hard for it, and I want to enjoy it. I want to reward myself. I’m doing this for me, and I’m fucking excited. It’s empowering to make a decision about my own body and know that it’s ALL MINE.
Be honest… are you judging me?
A few people reading this might think I’m having a post-calling-off-my-wedding insecurity crisis. Some might think I’ve become vapid and vain after building an audience on social media. Or just that I’m fake af. (Were you thinking it? It’s ok if you were; I’m not judging you ;). )
The other day I was blabbing to a friend about how gorgeous our mutual friend is. Her response was, “ya, but she had a nose job,” as if her surgery was supposed to negate her beauty or make me look down on her or something. Ladies, we have to stop doing this to each other. You sound bitter, her body her choice, and it’s none of your business anyway.
Every individual person gets to choose what to do with his/her/their body. Full stop. Plastic surgery isn’t an invitation for people to tell you what to do with your body. (Neither is abortion btw.)
If you’re still thinking “no, don’t do it, you’re pretty the way you are, etc. etc.” — you’ve missed the point. I’m not getting a boob job to make you think I’m pretty. I’m getting a boob job because I love myself and I want one. If that’s not body positivity, I don’t know what is.
I believe my boob job is feminist af
I think treating myself to a boob job is one of the most feminist things I’ve done. Hear me out.
All my life, I’ve been judged for my outward appearance (as all women are). You’re too fat, you’re too skinny, you’re too blonde, your boobs are enormous, you’re too pretty, you’re too girly, you’re not girly enough, you care too much about fashion, you’re too white, you wear too much makeup, you’re too tall for heels, you have to wear heels, you WEAR CROP TOPS EVERY DAY.
I’ve always felt pressure to choose between femininity and success. Many people have advised me to suppress certain parts of myself in order to be seen as smart and capable. I REFUSE to do so because there’s nothing more important to me than being true to myself.
When I wrote my honors thesis at UC Berkeley on Making diversity in the workplace a strategic advantage, I got lots of eye rolls for being the “white blonde girl” who thinks she knows about diversity. When I facilitated the Unconscious Bias diversity training course while working at Google, people told me they’d “never expect someone like me to be so knowledgeable and passionate.” When I was in business school at Stanford, I actually had a career counselor tell me I needed to pull my hair back, stop smiling, and wear glasses in interviews in order to be taken seriously. It was comments like these that inspired me to create Brains over Blonde.
These days, I get hundreds of messages a day from all genders all over the world who tell me I’m not what they expected me to be. When I first saw you I hated you, you’re so woke, you’re way smarter than I thought you’d be, you’re so aware of your privilege, you’re funnier/wiser/cooler than I expected, I thought you were just another fashion blogger. Let’s be real I mean I LOVE defying stereotypes and proving people wrong. But I’d rather help create a world where we can see people for who they really are, regardless of what they look like on the outside.
As feminists, we should revere women who are confident and empowered in their bodies. Whenever I see a powerful woman (with or without a boob job) feelin herself and just strutting it out, I think it’s awesome. She’s just doin’ her, so good for her. That’s self-love.
Society has trouble seeing women as multi-faceted
I said this before in my Botox article, but it’s v imp so I’ll say it again: Society has trouble seeing women as multi-faceted. So if a woman’s had plastic surgery or Botox, she’s vain, and she can’t possibly ALSO be smart/driven/etc. Men don’t face the same dichotomy. Quite the opposite in fact; people associate male attractiveness with competence and success.
We can’t fix this dichotomy by putting our hair up and wearing glasses to work. Nope. The only way to fix it is by changing the norm.
Many of you write to me about hiding your beauty in order to be taken seriously in the corporate world. All that does is help you fit into a man’s world and implicitly comply with the patriarchal standards of most workplaces. I encourage you to bring your full feminine self to work (whatever that means to you). The more women do this, the more feminine power will become the norm, and the more it will be accepted. So flex your fucking female, ladies.
If you’re still not convinced, ask yourself this. How is a boob job any different than getting braces? Do people who’ve had braces have fake teeth? Does that make them less competent? Less beautiful? Less feminist?
Why it’s important to me to document my boob job for the world to see
Oh and btw, my entire boob job and recovery will be documented on my blog and on my socials. (Duh.) Here I go again, baring my soul to thousands of strangers.
Why is it important to me to share this story with all of you? Because plastic surgery is more common than ever. (Here are some stats if u wanna nerd out.) But it’s also super hush-hush.
Nearly every celeb has had a lil something “tweaked.” Aside from a bold few, most outright deny the slightest rumor of plastic surgery. I refuse to call anyone out by name bc it’s none of my business and it doesn’t matter.
And then there are the digital creators (aka social media “influencers”) who we adore for sharing their “real life” outfits and homes (most of which are professionally shot and styled during day-long photoshoots). Rest assured the three BIGGEST beauty blogger “secrets” are Botox, fillers, and laser… but most of them will tell u that it’s Nars. (Sidenote: you’ll NEVER see me promoting bullshit products like Flat Tummy Tea. I only recommend and partner with brands I’ve tried, tested, and LOVE. I take this responsibility v v v srsly.)
ANYWAY, the problem with all of this is that consciously or not, we compare ourselves to these celebrities and digital creators. We idolize their lifestyle and emulate their actual style. We worship their faces and applaud their wanderlust. We gaze at their abs with both envy and resentment. We marvel at their collection of YSL bags and Jonathan Adler furniture.
All of this comparison makes us feel inadequate. Especially because we’re not seeing the full picture. Most of those perfect faces are Facetuned and/or surgically-enhanced. Those round-the-world trips? They’re paid for by airline and hotel companies. Many bloggers can’t actually afford their collection of designer handbags. (… which is why I don’t own a YSL bag. One day when u see me post one it’ll be bc I worked my ass off for it.) And the data proves it: social media makes us unhappy. The people and lives we see on social media are edited versions of reality. Keep that in mind when you’re comparing your unedited, REAL life.
I believe that a lot of this could be fixed with a little social media REALNESS, which is why I ALWAYS keep it real with you, even in my most vulnerable moments.
That’s why I’m sharing my boobilicious journey with you, starting with my surgery on Tuesday September 25th (starring my brilliant surgeon Dr. Jay Calvert). So if you ever compare your boobs to mine, rest assured that mine are full of silicone.
I used to hate my boobs; I hid them. Now, I want to show them off. HOW AWESOME IS THAT? See you next Tuesday. 😉
What questions do you have about boob jobs? What are your thoughts on plastic surgery? Have you tried it? Do you want to? Share below!