How Does Plastic Surgery Fit Into The Body Positivity Movement?

brains over blonde boob job body positivity

Givin’ ya’ll the birds eye view so u can see what I keep seeing.👀 Literally 983427 times a day I look down & I’m like OH SHIT where tf did THOSE🍊🍊come from!?! It’s weird af u guys srsly.🤣P.S. All the product details (including a HUGE designer discount) are at the end of this post!

After I got my boob job I was called a “fake feminist” and accused of not supporting body positivity. SO I wanted to take a sec to define what body positivity is all about. 🙃

Women (& all genders, but especially women) are conditioned to aspire to unrealistic levels of perfection and beauty. As young girls, we’re brainwashed to believe that flawless = beautiful, so we learn to beautify ourselves so we can look as immaculate as possible. The kicker is that perfection & beauty alone is not enough; we’re ALSO expected to be “natural” & “effortless”… as if TRYING to be beautiful somehow negates our beauty. The second someone “catches” us putting in a little effort (w/ Spanx, push-up bras, hair extensions, Botox, plastic surgery, whatevs), we’re considered CHEATERS. And cheating isn’t “pretty.” That’s why so many women lie about how long it really takes them to get ready, or their natural hair color, or their supposed “broken nose” that could only be fixed by changing the entire aesthetic.

🚨ATTN: LADIES🚨

The ENTIRE POINT of body positivity is to celebrate ALL bodies (that includes bodies that are fat, disabled, amputated, SURGICALLY ENHANCED… u name it). Part of calling yourself “body positive” means that you love & accept ALL bodies (including your own!) & NEVER diminish or shame someone’s beauty simply bc they chose to surgically enhance it. The goal is SELF-LOVE PPL. Everyone, including YOU, deserves to love their appearance. It literally does not matter whether or not you’ve made any physical alterations. WHO THE FUCK CARES.

🤷🏼‍♀️

So ya, I have fake tits, but I’m not a fake feminist. Body positivity is something I work on daily. The irony is that between my breast reduction, weight gain and loss, & my boob job… I’ve pretty much had every size boob u can imagine (starting from when I awkwardly started puberty at the age of SEVEN 😳). I get that this will sound funny to some ppl, but whatever:

Getting a boob job was a huge personal growth step for me bc I used to HATE boobs… especially my own. And now I can officially say I LOVE THEM!!! 😍

Btw, don’t worry about the mean comments; they don’t phase me bc my boob job was NEVER about receiving outside validation. What I choose to do with my body is up to me & will never be dictated by anyone other than my fucking self. IS THE SAME TRUE FOR U? If you’re 75 years old & want your tits lifted, fucking DO U, FLEX YOUR FEMALE, & LOVE URSELF!!!!! 👵🏻👵🏼👵🏽👵🏾👵🏿

❤️❤️❤️💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽 #flexyourfemale

Kay so now you tell me… how do U think about self-love & body positivity? Have your views changed? Why & how? Comment below!

P.S. u can see a lil sneak peak of my new apartment starting to come together! Do u liiiike??? 🤩

P.P.S. Scroll down to see some of my fave new picks as I nest into my new apartment! Purchase them below & we can be twinsies. PLUS U CAN GET 20% A DESIGNER PACKAGE AT HAVENLY BY USING PROMO CODE BRAINSOVERBLONDE! (I hiiiiiighly recommend this… I’ve had SO MUCH FUN working w/ Havenly throughout my design process!)

brainsoverblonde body positivity boob job


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  • KKOctober 4, 2018 - 12:59 am

    Anna, there’s something about you. Every single blog post you write keeps getting better and better and better. I can hear your voice and see you and I feel like I know you well as a friend. That sounds creepy but who cares!!!! Thank you for your transparency, realness, motivation, empowerment, education, and all the stuff you do for the B/B tribe! xoxo KKReplyCancel

Why I’m Getting A Boob Job 10 Years After My Breast Reduction (& Why I’m Sharing It With You)

brainsoverblonde boob job

Just making myself at home during my boob job pre-op consult with Dr. Jay Calvert

Exactly 10 years ago, when I was 18, I made the life-changing decision to get a breast reduction. I did it because I hated my colossal-sized breasts. The physical pain in my back and shoulders was bad, but the emotional pain was unrivaled. People would stare (sometimes touch) and my skin would crawl. Gossip flew and wild rumors spread because a teenager with double Fs must be a slut. First I tried hiding my boobs under three sports bras and a sweatshirt (in California heat), and eventually, I disguised them with weight gain instead. I was uncomfortable and disgusted by my own body, so I decided to take control and make a change.

I grew up hating my boobs, and my breast reduction taught me to love them again. In fact, it taught me to love my entire body inside and out and treat it better than ever before. Year by year I lost more and more weight, got in better and better shape, and reached higher and higher levels of confidence. For the first time ever, I loved my body. Never in a million years did I think that would be possible for me. (You can read my full breast reduction story here.) 

If you told my 18-year-old self that one day I would get breast implants, I would have said you were certifiably insane. I know supposedly women are supposed to get their boob jobs redone every 10 years but I never wanted big boobs to begin with… that was the whole point.

So, why am I getting a boob job?

I want boobs. Point blank PERIOD. That’s all that should matter. Feel free to stop reading now.

But you know me, I have a lot more to say about it :). So if you’re interested, keep reading.

I’ve worked really hard for my body. I’ve lost weight, gotten in shape, and with that comes loose skin. Combine that with the inevitable effects of age and gravity, and my boobs are practically two sacks of skin (picture two deflated balloons). So I’m getting little implants to fill out the deflated balloon latex.

I’m not getting a boob job because I hate myself or hate my body. I’m doing it because I LOVE my body. I’ve worked hard for it, and I want to enjoy it. I want to reward myself. I’m doing this for me, and I’m fucking excited. It’s empowering to make a decision about my own body and know that it’s ALL MINE.

Be honest… are you judging me?

A few people reading this might think I’m having a post-calling-off-my-wedding insecurity crisis. Some might think I’ve become vapid and vain after building an audience on social media. Or just that I’m fake af. (Were you thinking it? It’s ok if you were; I’m not judging you ;). )

The other day I was blabbing to a friend about how gorgeous our mutual friend is. Her response was, “ya, but she had a nose job,” as if her surgery was supposed to negate her beauty or make me look down on her or something. Ladies, we have to stop doing this to each other. You sound bitter, her body her choice, and it’s none of your business anyway.

Every individual person gets to choose what to do with his/her/their body. Full stop. Plastic surgery isn’t an invitation for people to tell you what to do with your body. (Neither is abortion btw.)

If you’re still thinking “no, don’t do it, you’re pretty the way you are, etc. etc.” — you’ve missed the point. I’m not getting a boob job to make you think I’m pretty. I’m getting a boob job because I love myself and I want one. If that’s not body positivity, I don’t know what is.

I believe my boob job is feminist af

brainsoverblonde boob job

feelin out some diff sizes

I think treating myself to a boob job is one of the most feminist things I’ve done. Hear me out.

All my life, I’ve been judged for my outward appearance (as all women are). You’re too fat, you’re too skinny, you’re too blonde, your boobs are enormous, you’re too pretty, you’re too girly, you’re not girly enough, you care too much about fashion, you’re too white, you wear too much makeup, you’re too tall for heels, you have to wear heels, you WEAR CROP TOPS EVERY DAY.

I’ve always felt pressure to choose between femininity and success. Many people have advised me to suppress certain parts of myself in order to be seen as smart and capable. I REFUSE to do so because there’s nothing more important to me than being true to myself.

When I wrote my honors thesis at UC Berkeley on Making diversity in the workplace a strategic advantage, I got lots of eye rolls for being the “white blonde girl” who thinks she knows about diversity. When I facilitated the Unconscious Bias diversity training course while working at Google, people told me they’d “never expect someone like me to be so knowledgeable and passionate.” When I was in business school at Stanford, I actually had a career counselor tell me I needed to pull my hair back, stop smiling, and wear glasses in interviews in order to be taken seriously. It was comments like these that inspired me to create Brains over Blonde.

These days, I get hundreds of messages a day from all genders all over the world who tell me I’m not what they expected me to be. When I first saw you I hated you, you’re so woke, you’re way smarter than I thought you’d be, you’re so aware of your privilege, you’re funnier/wiser/cooler than I expected, I thought you were just another fashion blogger. Let’s be real I mean I LOVE defying stereotypes and proving people wrong. But I’d rather help create a world where we can see people for who they really are, regardless of what they look like on the outside.

As feminists, we should revere women who are confident and empowered in their bodies. Whenever I see a powerful woman (with or without a boob job) feelin herself and just strutting it out, I think it’s awesome. She’s just doin’ her, so good for her. That’s self-love.

Society has trouble seeing women as multi-faceted

I said this before in my Botox article, but it’s v imp so I’ll say it again: Society has trouble seeing women as multi-faceted. So if a woman’s had plastic surgery or Botox, she’s vain, and she can’t possibly ALSO be smart/driven/etc. Men don’t face the same dichotomy. Quite the opposite in fact; people associate male attractiveness with competence and success.

We can’t fix this dichotomy by putting our hair up and wearing glasses to work. Nope. The only way to fix it is by changing the norm.

Many of you write to me about hiding your beauty in order to be taken seriously in the corporate world. All that does is help you fit into a man’s world and implicitly comply with the patriarchal standards of most workplaces. I encourage you to bring your full feminine self to work (whatever that means to you). The more women do this, the more feminine power will become the norm, and the more it will be accepted. So flex your fucking female, ladies.

If you’re still not convinced, ask yourself this. How is a boob job any different than getting braces? Do people who’ve had braces have fake teeth? Does that make them less competent? Less beautiful? Less feminist?

Why it’s important to me to document my boob job for the world to see

Oh and btw, my entire boob job and recovery will be documented on my blog and on my socials. (Duh.) Here I go again, baring my soul to thousands of strangers.

Why is it important to me to share this story with all of you? Because plastic surgery is more common than ever. (Here are some stats if u wanna nerd out.) But it’s also super hush-hush.

Nearly every celeb has had a lil something “tweaked.” Aside from a bold few, most outright deny the slightest rumor of plastic surgery. I refuse to call anyone out by name bc it’s none of my business and it doesn’t matter.

And then there are the digital creators (aka social media “influencers”) who we adore for sharing their “real life” outfits and homes (most of which are professionally shot and styled during day-long photoshoots). Rest assured the three BIGGEST beauty blogger “secrets” are Botox, fillers, and laser… but most of them will tell u that it’s Nars. (Sidenote: you’ll NEVER see me promoting bullshit products like Flat Tummy Tea. I only recommend and partner with brands I’ve tried, tested, and LOVE. I take this responsibility v v v srsly.)

ANYWAY, the problem with all of this is that consciously or not, we compare ourselves to these celebrities and digital creators. We idolize their lifestyle and emulate their actual style. We worship their faces and applaud their wanderlust. We gaze at their abs with both envy and resentment. We marvel at their collection of YSL bags and Jonathan Adler furniture.

All of this comparison makes us feel inadequate. Especially because we’re not seeing the full picture. Most of those perfect faces are Facetuned and/or surgically-enhanced. Those round-the-world trips? They’re paid for by airline and hotel companies. Many bloggers can’t actually afford their collection of designer handbags. (… which is why I don’t own a YSL bag. One day when u see me post one it’ll be bc I worked my ass off for it.) And the data proves it: social media makes us unhappy. The people and lives we see on social media are edited versions of reality. Keep that in mind when you’re comparing your unedited, REAL life.

brainsoverblonde boob job

I believe that a lot of this could be fixed with a little social media REALNESS, which is why I ALWAYS keep it real with you, even in my most vulnerable moments.

That’s why I’m sharing my boobilicious journey with you, starting with my surgery on Tuesday September 25th (starring my brilliant surgeon Dr. Jay Calvert). So if you ever compare your boobs to mine, rest assured that mine are full of silicone.

I used to hate my boobs; I hid them. Now, I want to show them off. HOW AWESOME IS THAT? See you next Tuesday. 😉

What questions do you have about boob jobs? What are your thoughts on plastic surgery? Have you tried it? Do you want to? Share below!

If you enjoyed this post, check out my posts on Botox, my breast reduction, body positivity, and self-breast exams.

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  • SadieSeptember 19, 2018 - 5:21 pm

    Anna… do you know that you’re my literal hero????ReplyCancel

  • StefaniSeptember 20, 2018 - 9:39 am

    Everything you write I think “Wow!” You are so brave and have already inspired me to be much more honest and open in my life and maybe the next step is with cosmetic procedures. Thank you for being youReplyCancel

  • SarahSeptember 26, 2018 - 6:54 pm

    I’ve been following you on Insta for a while but this is the first blog post I’ve read and I just want to say keep it up, girl. It’s refreshing and thoughtful and I will keep reading. I’ve had tiny boobs my whole life and judged people who got boob jobs because I did see it as fake and since I don’t have the desire to get one, it made it easy. But you’re totally right – if you’re doing it for you and only you, there’s nothing to judge. We all strive to be happy and proud of ourselves. Hope your recovery is smooth and you are thrilled with the finished product!ReplyCancel

  • YournumberonefanNovember 7, 2018 - 8:14 am

    Where can we see the result?ReplyCancel

  • DNovember 14, 2018 - 2:09 pm

    I’ve always wanted boobs. Always. How did you decide on your surgeon?ReplyCancel

So, You Want Icy White Blonde Hair? Here’s How It’s Done.

icy white blonde

Hi blondies! Life is more fun, right?

So, a lot of you have been asking me how I get my hair so icy white blonde. I mean, I get it, it’s *coolest* color around (if u catch my drift). After responding to 834234 DMs, I decided it’s time to write a blog post. ;P

First, let’s get one thing straight (like GHD hair straightener straight.) That white blonde blogger hair you see all over the gram? IT’S CALLED PHOTO EDITING PPL. I mean, I’ve full on used the teeth whitening tool on my hair before. Realness.

So no, my hair isn’t white (omg I wish. THE DREAM.), but I try to get it as close as possible. I’ve come to the realization that I’m happiest when I have that FRIGID AS FUCK ICY BLONDE hair, ya know?

Here’s the formula: the right stylist + the right products.

How to find a badass blonde hairstylist

It’s so hard to find “the one.” Like, it’s worse than online dating… because a bad date won’t FRY YOUR HAIR like a bad stylist will.

When I moved to LA, I got my hair done via a Groupon deal. Please, I beg of you, learn from my mistake and do not do this. She was new. My hair broke off in massive chunks. It looked like ramen noodles. I’m still recovering.

If you’re serious about the icy blonde life, don’t go to a color generalist. Go to a blonde specialist who understands the complexities of blonding.

Live in LA? Lucky you. I know exactly where you need to go: BLONDE/BLOND. This salon ONLY does blonde color. It’s my second home. I call Caitlin Richardson, the owner, my fairy blondemother. She just gets it.

ice white blonde

Ok, so, you live in Idaho? Never fear. Here’s what you need to do to: a) find a fab stylist and b) make sure s/he delivers your blonding vision to perfection:

  1. Do your research. Fucking duh. I’m not just talking Yelp reviews. Look at PICTURES (especially before and after photos). Insta is great for this. Make sure the stylist is using her own images (not reposting other people’s) and isn’t using heavy filters to distort the color. Check out @blonde.blond on insta for reference – it’s like porn for blondes.
  2. Come prepared. Before you even show up for your appointment, send photos of your current hair sitch, as well as pics of your desired end result. Caitlin from BLONDE/BLOND also stresses the importance of sharing every lil detail of your hair color and treatment history. Not only will this help your stylist prep, but it will also allow her to set your expectations. The color might not be right for your hair type or skin tone. OR it may take multiple treatments to get there (better to go slow and safe.) A good stylist will be honest and communicate thoroughly with you. A bad stylist will promise the world and underdeliver.
  3. Go slow. Again, go slow. Icy blonde doesn’t happen in an hour. Blonde experts don’t rush your hair under the heat dryer so they can move onto the next client. They make you sit with your foils in for fucking ever. (It’s worth it.)
  4. Repeat after me: NO. WARM. TONES. I recommend telling your stylist that you “only want cool tones and NO WARM TONES” at least 100 times. Bonus points for throwing in words like “icy,” “frigid,” and “glacial.”
  5. Communicate. DON’T BE SHY. You know that feeling you get when you just kinda *know* your color isn’t going to turn our right? DON’T BE “POLITE” AND SIT THERE IN FUCKING SILENCE. NOT TO BE DRAMATIC BUT LIKE THIS COULD *TEMPORARILY* RUIN YOUR FUCKING LIFE. If you have a question or concern, say something early and often.

ice white blonde

K, so, you want my EXACT color formula? Copy cat. Caitlin uses:

  • Bleach: Matrix V Lights Bleach. Caitlin has tried literally every bleach you guys (ppl send her free shit every week). This is the best one bc it lifts white (not yellow – ew.)
  • Tone & Base Break: Frampsi Color (she mixes 0P and 9NP) to tone my hair and break the base. It’s an Italian color line with smaller pigment molecules than others.
  • Toner for ends: Redkin Shades (she mixes GI and GV together for a white ash grey tone… yum)

Btw… if you don’t know terms like “base break” and “toner,” check out the blonde glossary on Caitlin’s blog!

Ok, so, you achieved icy blonde perfection. The hard part is keeping it that way. Your hair will start to skew yellow if you don’t use the right products.

The products every icy blonde must have

When it comes to blonde haircare, I’ve just learned to do whatever Caitlin tells me to do (she’s the only one who can boss me around). Like literally if she told me to rub raw onions on my head every night I would do it, and there’s nothing I hate more than onions. She just knows what’s up and has NEVER led me astray. All of the below are recommended by my blondemother and tried and tested by me. They’re the ride or die products I can’t live without, and they’re honestly necessary for icy blonde maintenance. You need every. single. one. Trust me on this.

L’anza Purple Shampoo


This stuff is the most hydrating purple shampoo around. It also has the most pigment (you want your purple shampoo to be DARK purple). Purple cancels out the yellow tones. Wash your hair with regular shampoo first to get it super clean, and then leave the purple shampoo in for two minutes. If your shower looks like a purple murder scene… that means you’re doing it right. You shouldn’t need purple conditioner – just the shampoo will do the trick.

Malibu Packets


These puppies are made to take out well water deposits, but they also remove the build up that accumulates on your hair from purple shampoo (not cute). Just use it on your ends once a month and you’ll be good to go.

T3 Shower Filter


Shower filters are not optional. ESPECIALLY if you live in LA. Our water is filled with chlorine and other toxins that dry out your skin and hair (and leave your hair greasy even after shampooing). I’ve tried a billion different shower filters but avoided buying this one forever because of the price tag. However I can now assure you, it’s worth it. It is… dare I say… life-changing? Your hair will be cleaner, shinier, softer, and healthier than ever before. (Plus – you won’t have to wash it as often, and we all know how important that is.)

Unite 7 Second Leave-in Conditioner


After you towel-dry your hair (with an Aquis microfiber towel, of course), spray about 7 spritzes of this leave-in conditioner. Blonde hair is dry, and you don’t want to damage it with your brush. This stuff is gold – it will detangle and make your brush glide on through.

Dyson Supersonic Hair Dryer

Look, the Dyson Supersonic is pricey. But it dries your hair super fast and smooth (and again, time is money.)

Swipe to the right to see Caitlin’s fave, the Elchim 2001. Apparently, every hair stylist has one of these and it’s a tried and true fave that just works.

Whichever you choose, make sure you use the thin nozzle to direct the airflow. Blow dry your hair in sections, pulling it away from your head and blowing the air DOWN with the hair shaft (so that the air is angled in the direction the cuticle lies.) If you blow the air in every direction all willy-nilly, the cuticle will dry whack and that’s what creates FRIZZ.

(Would you want a full post on blow drying technique? It took me forever to master the art… and it really is an art. Lmk in the comments below!)

B tee dubs, if you wanna see how I style my big loose waves, check out this video.

Ibiza Round Boar Brush

If you’re still blow drying your hair with a Conair from Walgreens, we need to talk. The plastic traps heat from your blow dryer and FRIES your hair.

The boar bristles let heat through. The round design allows you to pull sections of your hair super taught (so you can dry them smooth and sleek and/or curled on the ends). What’s that saying again? Once you go boar bristles, you never go back.

Olaplex


OMG I’M SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS ONE IT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND.

Olaplex is the only product that actually REBUILDS the bonds in your broken hair cuticles (rather than just filling them, which is what Keratin treatments do). It’s like, crazy science. But here’s my super hot tip: Most people only buy Step 3 for home use, and pay $60+ per treatment to get Step 1 and 2 done in the salon. L O L. You can just do it at home!

Here’s what you do: Just put 90ml of Step 1 on, leave it for 5 min. Then put on Step 2, leave it for 20 min (or overnight, if you wanna be an overachiever like me.) Rinse out and FEEL THE MAGIC THAT IS YOUR NEWLY REBONDED HAIR SHAFTS.

ice white blonde

I do the treatment like once a week bc I’m crazy and want my hair to be as healthy and strong as a horse’s mane (don’t you?!)

(Do you want me to do a full blog post on Olaplex? I have so much more to say here. Let me know in the comments!)

Drybar Dry Shampoo

CAN WE ALL JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO HONOR THE AMAZINGNESS THAT IS DRY SHAMPOO. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without it, like… wash my hair every day? L O L. That’s a scary thought.

I’ve tried literally every dry shampoo on the market and Drybar’s is the best because 1) it isn’t sticky 2) it smells amazing 3) it works better than all the others. Plus it makes your hair super voluminous, which we love. I don’t fuck with the lush scent or the whipped versions btw; they’re just not as good as the original Drybar Detox.

Hot tip: The white color of your dry shampoo can make your hair even icier and is great for hiding roots. If you’re not blonde, you’ll want to avoid the white color and use the brunette version.

Go Icy White Blonde, Or Go Home

If you’re gonna do this color, you have to do it right. Don’t skimp on the stylist or the products. Oh, and get haircuts early and often.

What other hair questions do you have for me? Wanna learn about styling and/or extensions? Leave your requests and fave products below!

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  • SavAugust 28, 2018 - 5:07 pm

    On Insta you said this is for non-natural blondes – is it an easier process for natural blondes? I’m a “dirty blonde” (lol aren’t we all tho) and when my hair darkens some I’ve considered going lighter blonde eventually! ❤️SavReplyCancel

    • AnnaAugust 28, 2018 - 5:31 pm

      Yes! Oops – I didn’t mean this is for non-natural blondes – I just meant that my hair isn’t naturally this WHITE ;P. The lighter your hair is, the easier it is to take it lighter (and the easier it is to maintain cool tones). You’ll also do much less damage to your hair!ReplyCancel

  • Curious from BrixtonAugust 28, 2018 - 8:18 pm

    Anna – You are totally my hero!  I graduated uni (in UK) but when I get older I want to be exactly like you, like literally exactly like you!  I’ve been planning to run my own insta / blog lifstyle brand as well, a UK version.  I’ve been dreaming about quitting my job and moving to London but I’ve been looking at the numbers about monetization on insta and I can’t seem to get the math to get close to working.  Like how do you afford your LA flat and lifestyle and everything given that you don’t have like a million followers?   ReplyCancel

    • AnnaAugust 29, 2018 - 8:24 am

      Hey girl – how exciting!! I can’t wait to hear about all you accomplish. As far as monetization goes, keep in mind that I had a career before B/B and social media is just a part of my business (and for a while, I only made money from coaching!) Also, part of being an entrepreneur is staying scrappy and sacrificing “lifestyle” while you build your business. Happy to chat about all the different revenue streams if you fill out the form on my coaching page. Best of luck to you!ReplyCancel

  • AlexAugust 28, 2018 - 11:33 pm

    I would be interested in hair drying tips to avoid frizz as well as skin care tips and makeup tips.ReplyCancel

Grief, Loss, & Making Painful Decisions

brainsoverblonde_grief_loss_decision-making

Grief is weird. One minute I’m out with pizza and wine, the next I’m bawling in the fetal position.

“Welcome to an exciting life. That’s what you chose, my dear.”

This is what my therapist said to me, with a knowing grin, as I sat cross-legged on the couch and sobbed uncontrollably in her office last week.

I hadn’t seen her in three weeks. (She was out of town, in a camper van, traveling up the coast on a vision quest. I love her.) The weeks we didn’t talk were PIVOTAL for me. I moved into my new apartment, my previously amicable breakup took a turn for the worse, and I survived the day I’d been dreading… August 3rd, the day of my would-have-been wedding.

Considering the circumstances, I was actually doing pretty well during those three weeks. I focused on my well-being, and in many ways, I was happier than ever before. I was SO excited to update my therapist on my progress… until a couple days before we met, when GRIEF hit me. HARD.

I’ve always attached emotional meaning to significant dates. Well, this summer has been FULL of them: the day of my would-be bridal shower (June 16th), the day I got engaged (July 2nd), my would-be bachelorette weekend in Charleston (July 14th), and last but not least… my wedding day (August 3rd). All summer I told myself, “I just gotta get through August 3rd. It’ll all be downhill from there.”

On August 2nd, thirty-eight of my best friends from business school flew down to LA for the weekend (I srsly have the best friends in the world). We stayed in WeHo at the Mondrian Hotel, we partied (a lot), and I was sufficiently distracted during what could have been an emotional trainwreck of a wknd. I made it!

On Sunday, August 5th, all my friends departed to LAX. I was exhausted and honestly ready to go back to my new place and just chill by myself. I threw myself onto my air mattress (OMG don’t worry, I have a fab Leesa mattress now), and to my surprise… I started BAWLING. I didn’t even realize I was SAD.

There was a lot I needed to process that weekend, and I didn’t do the emotional work. (NO REGRETS btw, I had an incredible time with my bffs.) But you can’t just skip over grief. It’ll rear its head eventually.

Grief has a life of its own

Grief has a life of its own. You can’t make it go any faster, but you CAN prolong it by avoiding it (or in my case, interrupting it for the weekend).

So, there I was, in my unfurnished apartment, living alone for the first time, and FEELING even more alone. I starfished on the air mattress and cried my eyes out. A. L. O. N. E. I went from the highest high of a weekend to the lowest low. I didn’t leave that air mattress for two days.

(Btw, I’m literally OBSESSED with my new apartment. The moment I saw it, I KNEW it was *the one* – the place where I’d become a stronger version of myself and build my EMPIRE. But as I looked around that Sunday through blurred teary vision, I didn’t even RECOGNIZE the place. Where was I? How did I get here? Wtf happened to my old life? What have I DONE?)

I haven’t wavered in my decision to call off my wedding. With time and space, I’ve only become more confident in my decision. But that doesn’t mean I’m not mourning my old life.

Grief validates the things we love(d)

Some days I wake up feeling stronger than ever. Like if I did this, I can do ANYTHING. But that Sunday, feelings of immense loss hit me, seemingly out of nowhere. There were LOTS of tears. Lots. I watched like 10 episodes of Southern Charm. I closed the shades. I ordered mac & cheese from Uber Eats (duh).

I was really hard on myself. I felt like a loser, wasting my life away instead of going out and living it. So when I saw my therapist that week, I broke down because I thought I’d “backtracked” on all the progress I’ve made.

Her response? “It’s APPROPRIATE to lay in bed for two days after the weekend of your would-have-been wedding.” Hm, I hadn’t thought of that.

I didn’t just cancel a wedding, I also canceled the entire life I mapped out for myself. I lost my best friend. I lost my home. I kinda lost my mind for a little bit there tbh. And, the kicker… I shared it all with the entire worldMaybe I should have stayed in bed for longer.

I wasn’t backtracking. Grief is unpredictable; it does whatever the hell it wants. It comes in waves. Just when you think you’re moving forward, it pulls you RIGHT back in. Grief is anything but linear.

This experience taught me that the only way to get through grief… is to grieve.

Grief validates the things we love. It validates our capacity for love. The deepest grief is felt from the loss of something (or someone) we love. Far too often we carry our losses as burdens because we never process them. Grieving forces us to do the emotional work that allows us to march forward into the world as a stronger human being.

People miss out in life because they’re afraid to make a painful decision

I believe people miss out in life because they’re too afraid to make a painful decision. It’s not because they’re scared to make the wrong choice, it’s because every choice involves LOSS. As humans we’re programmed to HATE loss. Assuming we can’t tolerate the loss, we avoid making a painful decision, and thereby stick with the status quo.

Every day people ask me, stunned, how I had the courage to decide to call off my wedding. (I’ll get to that in a bit.) The flaw in the question is the assumption that making a painful decision (and facing loss and hence, grief) is harder than the alternative. In actuality, all this grief is worth it in the long run. It’s the alternative you should be worried about.

When it comes to decision-making, we have a bias toward the short-term

When it comes to decision-making, people over-weigh the short-term consequences of loss. Every decision involves some type of loss. Mine involved the loss of my love, my planned life, my best friend, my home, my sanity, and my pride (… just to name a few). But all of that’s temporary.

If I hadn’t made the painful decision, and moved forward with my wedding, what would I have lost in the long-term? Likely, the same list as above, except with a few kiddoes along for the ride. Or, maybe I’d dodge those losses and lose other things instead, like my lifelong well-being and happiness. When you think about it that way, doesn’t it seem like loss and grief in the short-term is better than the long-term?

(… and btw, all this emphasis we place on LOSS makes us forget about what I GAINED by making this decision.)

When you lose something, you make space for something else

Every time you lose something, it makes space for something else in your life.

This year, my life was at CAPACITY. If my life were a glass of rosé, it would have been filled 60% with building my business, 15% with T (my ex), 10% with friends and family, and 10% with self-care. Then I overflowed the glass with 5% for wedding planning and another 30% for massive anxiety and pre-marital doubts. (Clearly, my cup runneth over.)

Ok, so then I did it. I called off my wedding. That 5% of rosé that was wedding planning? It spilled all over the floor. The 30% that was massive anxiety? It evaporated! (YAY!) And the 15% for T? That was lost too.

Don’t worry, we still have more than 80% rosé in our glass (I mean, always.)… I had to dedicate 30% to grief and 20% to apartment hunting.

Obviously, I’m spilling rosé all OVER the place. But because I’m GOING THROUGH THE GRIEF, it’s now starting to take up less and less of my glass. It went down to 25%, then 20%, then 15%. Sometimes it goes down to 10%, and then back up to 20% (somebody keeps pouring me refills). I also found an apartment, but 10% of that rosé is dedicated to moving in, nesting, and making it home.

So let’s just say my glass is now perfectly filled to the brim (plus or minus a few sips, depending on the day). That’s a HUGE WIN, right? But it gets better. Someday soon, I’ll be done setting up my apartment. And eventually, the grief will subside as well. Humans are resilient creatures.

When that happens, my glass of rosé will only be 80% full. That means one day in the not-so-distant future, I can fill up my glass with NEW 2019 VINTAGE ROSÉ.

What kind of rosé should I get? 2019 Podcast Rosé? 2019 Yoga Certification Rosé? 2019 New Relationship Rosé? 2019 B/B Branding Course Rosé? 2019 Travel Around the World Rosé? IDK U GUYS! I need to do some taste testing! (What do U think? Lmk in the comments below!)

K sry, having too much fun w this rosé metaphor. Basically, when u lose something, u get space in your glass of rosé (a.k.a. life) for something else. You’re smart; you get it.

So, how did I get the strength to call off my wedding?

K, now back to the question you all keep asking me: HOW DID I GET THE STRENGTH TO CALL OFF MY WEDDING?

The answer is simple: I didn’t have a choice.

I can’t help but keep it real; it’s who I am (but u guys know this lolol). I’ve never been able to fake it (when I don’t like someone, it’s written ALL over my face). I won’t live in denial. I know myself well, and I can’t help but be true to who I am and what I feel. It’s hard sometimes, and it takes a lot of courage. But sticking with the status quo only APPEARS to be easier. To me, it comes at a great cost.

My entire brand is about “be a woman and to thine own self be true.” That means that sometimes you have to flex your female and GO AGAINST CONVENTION. We have a bias in our society that sticking with convention is easier, but that may or may not be true for you (it’s not for me, obviously).

When we don’t follow convention, we’re basically saying, “I know what OTHER people would do in this situation, but that’s not going to work for me, so I’m gonna do something different.” You have to know yourself DEEPLY in order to recognize this. I have the gift (and the burden) of knowing who I am, so I recognized that something wasn’t right and decided to go against convention (in this case, convention = going forward with my wedding as planned, not rocking the boat, not hurting the people I love, etc. etc.) I didn’t know what would happen next, bc CONVENTIONALLY, brides don’t call off their wedding with two months to go. But I had to follow my truth and trust that I’d figure the rest out later.

It’s especially hard for women to go against convention bc we’re bred to “be nice” from the moment we pop out of the WOMB (it’s rly amazing that female bodies give birth to human life btw, we’re fucking awesome, sry for the tangent my b). “Nice” women prob would have gone with convention and gotten married. They might need that first marriage to get to know themselves and realize something wasn’t working (nothing wrong with this path btw, it’s just diff than my own). Whatever your path is to getting there, I believe that once you sincerely know yourself… that’s when you really start LIVING. Being true to who you are makes life infinitely richer. Even if it means you have to go against convention, face loss, and grieve. That’s how you GROW.

My therapist asked, “What’s the difference between denial and serenity?” Nothing, I suppose. But once you know yourself fully, denial isn’t possible. The only way to get your serenity back is to face your truth. So ya, I had the audacity to not be “nice,” bc I refused to be in denial. It pissed some people off, because that’s what happens when you go against convention.

When you trust yourself, things start to fall into place

I don’t know what’s going to happen next and I’m not going to get ahead of myself. This isn’t what I wanted, it wasn’t in my plans, but sometimes in life, that works out (and it often does).

What I DO know is that once I started trusting myself and listening to that little voice inside (that we all have), the universe has rewarded me. Things just seem to be… falling into place. I’ve realized that’s what happens when you follow your gut. The best part is, I’ve never felt so in TOUCH WITH MYSELF AND THE UNIVERSE (I realize I sound like a massive LA hippie rn, & that’s bc I am). To some of you, it may sound like I’m losing it with this universe shit. Do u want me to do a post on spirituality? Lmk in the comments!

Anyway, I’m going to leave you with this:

It’s crazy how easy it is to switch up your whole life.

It’s crazy how easy it is to switch up your whole life. All you have to do is decide to.

Making the decision to call of my wedding was the hardest and most painful thing I’ve ever done. But all I had to do was DECIDE. Since then, my entire WORLD has opened up with new possibilities. I thought my life would be one thing, and now, it can be ANYTHING. I’m freer and more empowered than ever before. Yes, I’m still grieving. But as B/B reader Chastity told me, “the strong woman to emerge from this will be UNSTOPPABLE.” And that’s worth the grief and loss.

What decision are you avoiding in order to spare yourself short-term grief and loss? If you make a painful decision, it will be hard, and it’ll get worse before it gets better. But eventually, the loss will open up space in your life for the beginning of something new. I’m confident that whatever it is will be bigger and better than you ever thought POSSIBLE. It’s going to be an exciting life, if you choose it.

decision making brains over blonde

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  • cassandraAugust 15, 2018 - 2:11 pm

    annaaaaa!!!!!!! this post is amazing as always. thanks for putting it all out there for us. it helps more than you will ever knowReplyCancel

  • CailinAugust 15, 2018 - 4:13 pm

    This made me cry and laugh at the exact same time. Your Rose metaphor is spot on (“someone keeps pouring me refills”…dead…)I’m in the same place as you right now, grieving for my best friend and fiance and the life we had planned together but knowing that we could not move forward anymore pretending that everything was okay or going to be okay. I’m facing the same “wow, I’m so okay, this isn’t as hard as I thought it would be” and then then next hour I’m crying so hard in the bathroom at work that I feel like I can’t breathe. I want to fast forward through the pain and get to my glass having room for my new 2019 Vintage Rose…
    Love and light to you, always. ReplyCancel

  • KayliAugust 15, 2018 - 4:23 pm

    You’re a badass and this unbelievably hard decision you made will open up opportunities and chances you’d never have experienced. 
    Btw I think 2019 should be travel the world only condition is that I get to go ha!ReplyCancel

  • EllaAugust 16, 2018 - 3:27 pm

    Oh, lady, thank you so much for writing and sharing your truth. I am currently in the process of separating from my partner. We will have been together 9 years and I will be entering my 30s as a single woman. This sentence has scared the hell out of me for the past few months of navigating this difficult situation. 30 and single. 30 and alone? While everyone else within my circle is starting to get married, buy a house, and have kids; here I am, leaving mine. Your blog and Instagram are instrumental sources in my life right now. I felt so alone in the decision I made for myself because to others, it seems absolutely insane. And you know what? I am perfectly okay with that because after the decision was made, I felt lighter. If I have learned anything from this experience, it is to trust my intuition. I made a painful decision that will take time to process but I feel reinvigorated about life. I feel freer and I am so thrilled about whatever happens next.

    You are a badass babe, cultivating a community for other badass babes, and I raise my glass of Rosé to you and everyone else out their relentlessly discovering and pursuing their truest selves. xx,Ella ReplyCancel

  • AlexaAugust 17, 2018 - 10:40 pm

    Anna, thanks for this. This was one of the first days on which I  clicked a hyperlink to one of your articles and actually got to that tab with the article within a day! 
    It just so happens to be my dad’s birthday. He’s been gone for 12 years now – the 12 years in which I entered high school, went to college, graduated, started my first job, etc. I understand what you mean about difficulty during transition periods, and I think a lot of what you’ve written can be extrapolated to make sense in dealing with loss of many kinds. 
    I don’t have anything profound to say right now, as it’s getting late in CST and I have an early morning! I do want to say thank you though – many of us who read your blog and follow your other social media probably think it way more than we express it. 
    Also, I don’t think you can necessarily go wrong with your decision about how to fill up the cup (podcasts, yoga, travel, etc). I will say I took my yoga training with about 50 other women and a few men. It was the best money I’ve ever spent and one of the greatest experiences. I noticed trainees who had recently (2 years prior or less) undergone major losses were extremely vulnerable while studying. Yoga certainly opens then body and mind to realize deep seated emotions. Some of these yogis became very ‘emotional’ for lack of a better word. I imagine this process during a yoga training might help someone and hurt someone else, depending on each person’s healing process. To summarize, my recommendation about the yoga training is to hold off for at least a few months before potentially being put in a very vulnerable space. (Unless your comfortable with that!) In addition, try to spend some time with the teachers in the program before signing up, if possible. You’ll be with them for a while! ReplyCancel

    • Eve IravaniAugust 18, 2018 - 2:17 am

      Dear Anna I am sorry you have been through the wars and thank you for sharing you woes in such an honest and endearing way.  You have probably helped more people than you know.  After what you’ve been through (loved the Rose analogy BTW) and the resolute manner you made your decision this might be hard to hear but you are resilient and from what I see you know your own mind so far be it from someone unknown to you to interfere .. all this is is a perspective from an older member of your band of girls.  I have been married for 32 years – it’s one of those long haul deals and I don’t want to come across as smug because it’s not all been plain sailing.  I am incredibly thankful though to have weathered our storms together and we’ve had multiple challenges of being biz partners and then me getting sick so the poor guy has fulfilled his part of those wedding vows believe me! What I wanted to say was that 2 nights before the wedding I was about to call it all off.  There was all kinds of family shit happening with my newly married dad wanting to ring my stepmother (who I had not yet met) and my mom being in pieces and then the pressures of pandering to inlaws etc… and that’s BEFORE factoring in the terror of the actual wedding day.  I hated my dress and was only wearing it because it was a gift from my mom and all she could afford at the time.  My dad was supposed to contribute to the wedding but that was looking increasingly doubtful so I was entering my new family in hock to them which actually felt.. well, humiliating.  Remember, this was back in 1986 when female empowerment was not what we know today!  I had just completed my Economics degree, had dreams of becoming an investment banker and what was I doing at the tender age of 23?  Getting hitched that’s what.  Nailing my colours to someone else’s mast before I even knew what it was all about.  Why did I go through with not one but 2 ceremonies in the end? (We are both mixed race)   Because through all the tears and doubts I knew one thing for sure.  I absolutely loved this guy.  He was the one who encouraged me to go back to university and although it meant a 3 year separation, he bloody well waited!  He planned the whole wedding and I would do my part in the holidays when I flew back to England from Colorado. Forget all that though… it was when I told him I was bottling out and he gave me the tightest hug.  That’s when I knew I wanted to always have those arms around me and I didn’t walk away.  All I am saying is that you have had so much crammed into your rose glass including building up a business that it’s no wonder you needed to retreat.  Ask yourself an honest question: was it the pressure of the wedding itself weighing on you or did you call it off because you found you were actually not in love with T? Just saying.  In the pictures you posted of the two of you you seemed so happy.  I hope after the dust has settled at least you can salvage the friendship – but only you know if that’s possible and then time does its whole thing as well I know you can fill your time with work, friends, fam, yoga, going out etc. There are lots of people you can do something with but as they say there are not many you can do nothing with”.  In this day an age a relationship can be anything.  You don’t HAVE to be married for F’s sake! Maybe the whole wedding thing just came to soon at the wrong time.  Only fools give advice and this is NOT that.  It’s just another perspective.  Keep doing what you’re doing and making us boss ladies happy with your exhuberant and fun posts which also have so many practical tips too.  I enjoy your newsletter every Saturday (I live in England). Have a good weekend! Eve xReplyCancel

      • AnnaAugust 29, 2018 - 8:35 am

        Hi Eve, thank you so much for bringing your experience and perspective to this conversation!! What a wonderful note. It’s amazing how resilient we really are, isn’t it?

        The reason it took me so long to recognize that getting married to T wasn’t the right fit for me was actually because I had so many other things going on at once. I blamed my anxiety on everything else (graduating from business school, moving to LA, launching a company, planning a wedding etc.) instead of facing the truth that maybe this relationship/marriage wasn’t the right one for me. It was such a hard truth to face and I hoped it would be ANYTHING but that. The anxiety didn’t come two nights before (as is common with “wedding jitters), it was nearly a year of mental turmoil. Once I acknowledged my truth, I’ve been much happier (even if I’ve also been devastated at the same time). Yes, we were in love, we could “do nothing” together, he was my best friend, and we were happy. But that doesn’t mean it was the relationship that would make me happy forever.

        We do look happy in our pictures though, don’t we? We were. But I also had deep-seated doubts that I didn’t want to face. If anything, that demonstrates how much can really be going on behind the scenes when we look at pictures on social media.

        I’m so happy you found such an amazing man to share your life with. I can’t wait to find mine! xx Anna

  • Anna KateOctober 10, 2018 - 9:16 am

    Anna, this morning while cramming for an assignment in grad school, I took a distraction break and Googled “what calling off my wedding was like.” Because that is what I did a little over two months ago now. And I found you. I was looking for someone who had experienced the same gut-wrenching guilt and shame and sadness as me. I expected I’d probably find other people who had called off weddings, but what I didn’t expect to find was someone who’s story of calling off their wedding was so exactly like mine. Our reasons (a deep sense that we weren’t as compatible as I had thought), how many months until the date (2!), the post-decision conversations (“Did he cheat on you?” “But you looked so happy together!” “Remember no matter who you marry he won’t be perfect!” NO SHIT Rhonda (made up name, I find inventing fake names in fake arguments satisfies my internal turmoil sometimes hahah), wondering if your stress/anxiety was due to school/work stress and not major doubts about the relationship, and even your trait of being totally transparent and unable to fake it (like, I literally don’t get how some people lie? Sometimes I’m jealous of people who can temporarily divorce themselves from their true feelings; it would come in handy sometimes). I mean all of it. I have been living your life, just delayed by 2 months. (My wedding date was September 29.) My biggest struggle was not having a “good enough” reason. After traveling around the world A MILLION FREAKING TIMES in my head trying to solve it for myself and also satisfy everyone’s need to understand, I’ve come to the conclusion that you don’t owe freaking ANYBODY an explanation when you end a relationship. Mostly because it’s hard enough to explain it to yourself. If that’s the case, good luck getting anyone else to understand. It will only exhaust you and confuse you further. All I know was that I did NOT feel the way that I needed to feel to marry him. Period. I loved him, like crazy. He had invested so much in me. He had encouraged me, made me laugh, showed me love and grace, been my friend and confidante, so many good things. And yet, I couldn’t ignore this deep-seated feeling that I didn’t want to be with him forever. I also had the complication that our entire relationship was long-distance, so it was doubly difficult to see for myself that I really didn’t want to marry him. So very, very much shame wrapped up in that. It’s been brutal working through that. I have never struggled with anxiety or thoughts of self-harm but they hit me like a freight train through this. Thankfully I have a ridiculous support system and close friends, so I’ve coped well, but it’s been messy. My ex-fiance did not respond extremely well and hurting him was by far the worst part. There is something about hurting someone you love that just mutilates your soul. I don’t know how long it will take to heal from the pain of causing him pain. But I do have those moments like you said when you realize, “Holy shit, I went against convention, told hundreds of people who might judge me that I had changed my mind about arguably the most important decision of my life, caused temporary pain for myself, my fiance, and many others because I knew deep down that despite the pain it was the best decision for literally every person involved.” DAMN. Can we get a standing ovation? That is ridiculous. I’ve never been so grieved and distraught and hurt and lonely and scared, but I did the hard, right thing, for everyone. Thank you for bravely launching your story out there so that people like me could find it and feel a little more normal, a little more brave, a little more okay. We’ve planted seeds of sorrow, and soon we will reap joy.ReplyCancel

Dear Instagram: Please Do More To Protect Digital Content Creators

Yesterday my Instagram got hacked and held for ransom. (Crazy, right?) Literally sounds like a sci-fi movie starring Lindsay Lohan. I’ve been meaning write about property protection in the age of digital media for a while now, so I think now’s the time.

brainsoverblonde instagram hacker

Digital media is a beautiful thing. It’s allowed us to connect with people from all over the world – both loved ones and people we would never have met otherwise. It’s allowed entrepreneurial free spirits like myself to create entire digital businesses and free ourselves from the 9-5.

But don’t let your fave digital creators (I HATE the word influencer) fool you – it’s a LOT of work building an audience, creating meaningful and educational content, spreading a message, growing a supportive community, etc. (at least if you’re doing it right… IMHO). It’s not all about brunch and YSL bags. TRUST me on this.

There’s no protection for digital property

All the work is worth it. The problem is, there’s essentially NO protection for our digital property, which we spend loads of time and energy creating. It’s stolen constantly, and it can downright disappear in an instant. Personally, I’ve had my logo and branding ripped off by a major brand (which resulted in expensive litigation), my content stolen, my identity stolen, and basically everything else under the sun. It’s SO easy. All someone has to do is download one of my images or copy/paste my words and use it on their own page. Unless one of you guys flag it, I usually have no idea.

It’s not lost on me that the digital and social media space is predominantly female. I can’t help but wonder if digital content protection would be taken more seriously if more males’ careers depended on it. BUT I DIGRESS.

Media companies: please do more to protect digital content creators

Here’s what really gets my goat, as my mom would say. All of these digital media companies (like Facebook) are creating these MECCAS (like Instagram), where they’re encouraging businesses to live and grow and even make a living off of their platform.

But then… when something goes wrong… they leave us high and dry.

Yesterday I got several emails from a dude named “PunPam,” who hacked my IG and threatened to delete and sell my account if I didn’t pay him. I know it’s just an IG account and part of me feels silly, but this is also my BABY and a big part of my business. It was terrifying.

Instagram’s Help Center was useless (I can’t change my password when my email and phone are no longer associated with the account). There’s absolutely no way to contact them. I SCOURED the Internet and read many, many disheartening stories from people and businesses whose accounts got hacked and were never seen again. So then (lol)… I called the Santa Monica police (L O L). They, not surprisingly, laughed in my face.

WHAT’S A GAL TO DO?

Well, luckily, I have all of you.

After posting this blog post about the hack, my friends (online and IRL) pooled all of their connections (you’re a well-connected bunch!) Altogether I prob had around 50+ internal “friends and family” reports at FB/Instagram. HAIIIIIII pay attention to me PLZ! It worked. Instagram resolved the issue within 24hrs. (Thank you!)

That said, I never heard from Instagram. Not one word. I don’t know how they fixed it. I don’t know who hacked my account. I don’t know why. Was this a random attack? Was I targeted specifically? (FYI, PunPam still won’t stop emailing me.)

The BIGGER question is… is Instagram doing ANYTHING to find and take proper action against PunPam? If they don’t, who is this loser going to target next? As far as I’m concerned he’s in the same shithead fraternity as Trump and Harvey Weinstein.

Facebook is a huge company and they need to have recourse to make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else

I mean, this was a hard week for me. It was supposed to be my wedding, which sent me into a depressive spiral this week, and Mercury is in fucking retrograde so clearly everything’s going wrong and my life is pretty much a soap opera rn. But actually, I got my IG account back pretty quickly and I feel like the LUCKY ONE. Based on all the research I’ve done and horror stories I’ve heard, many people aren’t so lucky. They spend YEARS building their brand and audience and business and then… POOF. It’s gone. No one to contact. No one to help. Tough titties.

So I’m asking all digital media companies, Instagram included (and especially), PLEASE create some kind of emergency backup technology and recourse. And then, take ACTION against attackers and treat it like what it is: business theft. Make sure they don’t do it to ANYONE else. (Unless it’s Trump then I don’t rly care tbh – go use your hacking skillz for good not evil.)

Ok, well now I’m worried I scared you all shitless, so here are three things you can do to protect your account.

4 things you can do to protect your instagram from hackers:

  1. Change your passwords. Regularly.

  2. Use a different password for every application. SERIOUSLY. You can use a little code or mnemonic device to keep track of how you slightly adjust passwords for diff apps.

  3. If you have an Instagram business account, don’t use the same email for contact as you do for login.

  4. Use 2-factor authentification!!! (I believe this was my downfall.)

Once again, this B/B community has BLOWN ME AWAY. Without all of you, I honestly don’t know if my baby would have ever been recovered. Thank you, thank you, a million times, thank you. I LOVE YOU ALL!!

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  • NAAugust 10, 2018 - 5:12 pm

    Hi – Can you please explain why you believe someone with the name “Anna Scherbakova” is a male and former fraternity member?  Thank you.ReplyCancel

    • AnnaAugust 14, 2018 - 11:22 am

      I have no idea who this person is. Could be an alien! Could be a team of ninjas! But I like to play with words 🙂ReplyCancel

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